hate me if u want to

there's a part of me that likes nothing about you.
there's a part of me that wishes you would just disappear.
if only i would've begged harder for her to stay.
that's an Easter day i may never forget.

you think you know her.
you think 6 weeks means something.
6 weeks don't mean shit.
i laugh at you.

don't try and tell me what she will decide.
don't ask me to get a cup of coffee with you.
number one, no i don't want to.
number two, i don't drink coffee.

i cringe when i hear or see your name.
when i do hear it, it reminds me of the first time i found a tick on my dog.
i had never seen one before and i felt disgusted. dirty.
now i only take the ticks off because i don't want my dog to die.
you're like a tick to me. i must get you off of her.

having you in her life drives me crazy.
i want you to go away.
there's nothing about you that makes me feel good.
there's nothing about you that brings me peace.
there's nothing about you that i want for her.
i want what's best for her.
you are not the best.

I'd Swear It Was Real

I received a text message saying, "Billy shot himself".
I dreamt that I woke up and read it and it was true.
I was still dreaming.
It's been almost twenty four hours since I had this dream, yet it is still on my mind.
I'd swear it was real.

It doesn't matter how hard I try the kid still seems to ponder around in my mind.
We don't speak anymore besides the ocassional posts on Facebook, but I still worry about him.
I swear I woke up and I thought he really had shot himself.
I thought he was dead.
I woke up worried and concerned.
It was just a dream though.

Poem of Ones

How's

Today

Forget

Tomorrow

One

Step

Here

Now

Push 

Forward

New

Day

Another

Step

Progress

Made

Now

Smile

For

Today

Save

Breaths

For 

Today

Live

Today

Forget 

Tomorrow

Chris Cleave on Love

“Whenever I need to stop and remind myself how much I once loved Andrew, I only need to think about this. That the ocean covers seven tenths of the earth’s surface, and yet my husband could make me not notice it.”

~Excerpt from The Other Hand by Chris Cleave


My reply: It's the one who can sit at the edge of the sand with you as the tide slowly rises between your toes. No words need exchanging. It's the peace between the two of you that defines your love for one another.

For L.P.--The Prank Call

so you'll never believe what happened today!!! it was crazy. i got a call from my dog saying she was out celebrating with norman rockwell for his birthday. and i was like, sophie, how is that possible? norman rockwell's birthday is february 3rd, it's already passed. besides, he died in 1978. and she goes, mom, don't you have an imagination? i'm at the art museum in new york. then she laughed and said ha, ha, ha. then i said, you silly girl. it's ironic that you're at the art museum in new york because that's where norman was born.

we talked for a few more minutes and then i heard this loud noise on the other end of the phone. i asked sophie what it was and she said there was a firetruck barreling down the street. i said, well i'm sure the news will be in the saturday evening post...

Puppy Eyes No Lies

A heart does what it wants.
Some times the heart doesn't want what the mind wants.
Where then does the truth lie?

My dog doesn't lie.
Everyday she loves me.
Her eyes are filled with the truth.

What about the truth stunts the effort of our minds?
We resist what our heart says because of what?
Because of fear?

Fear no more.
Get a dog.

And Then I Heard It

I ran. It was the most power-soaked run with the biggest burst of inspiration I've ever experienced. I could've won the Chicago. Or so I felt.
I was sitting there in tears and then I heard it.


My mind was full of pain, but my body so pumped with an unstoppable force. One step after another was one step towards the end. Not just that end.


I was sitting there in tears and then I heard it.


A full sixty minutes of balls out cardio and each minute was loaded with a revengeful punch. I could've officially TKO'ed even Mike. And Ali.


I was sitting there in tears and then I heard it.


Then the anger left. Probably because as fast as I was running I would never run with them. Their white tails crossing right through my path. Oh how I felt as if I could jog right alongside.


I was sitting there in tears and then I heard it.


A simple back country road. Who would've known. The most extravagant sunsets. So close to my heart so close to me. I was running right into it. I wanted to crash right into it.


I was sitting there in tears and then I heard it.


What a feeling what a fight. I won. Or so I think I have. I wait for the next one.


I was sitting there in tears and then I heard it.


A battle won.

Please Don't Kill Me

He had on a flannel shirt, a baseball cap, dark-rimmed glasses & sat all so composed on the couch. He had a full beard.

Three minutes earlier we had parked in a "Tow Zone". As the paranoia set in, this man that we had just met offered to save my friend from a disappearing act.

They came back and I could now take my eyes away from the clock. After a certain period of time I would've gone looking for her.

She actually said Please Don't Kill Me. If you knew her you'd fall to the floor laughing.

It was a good night and I met my first friend in South Bend, Indiana.